The Sun and the Moon
by alexandrarosepiper
Summary: It's been thirty days since Cristina Yang left Grey Sloan Memorial. Let's just say she didn't leave gracefully… Copyright goes to ABC and Shondaland.
1. Ghost of the Year

It has been one month or, to be more precise, thirty days, five hours, thirty six minutes and eleven seconds since her best friend walked away from everything she knew and loved not so gracefully. Was it pathetic that she knew exactly how long her friend had been gone right down to the second which was now twenty five seconds instead of eleven? No, she didn't think so. After all, when someone so important and essential to your life leaves you behind you can't help but find yourself obsessing over the fact that they are gone. And they aren't coming back anytime soon.

She contemplated this thought after she drank her fourth (Or was it fifth?) shot of tequila in one mouthful that had been placed down only moments ago by the bartender who had grown accustomed to seeing the dark and twisty surgeon at the bar every night from eight o'clock to 9 o'clock since exactly one month ago. Or, at least, that's what she thought. She never paid too much attention to him.

Normally, the two surgeons would sit in these exact same red faux leather barstools every Friday night at this time and drink their heart away and discuss whatever came to their mind. Whether that be the complex cases they had that week or how wretched and awful the new ER nurse was, it didn't matter. As long as they were together, that was all they cared about. And of course, that they had an unlimited supply of tequila right at their fingertips.

She hadn't talked too much to the friend she affectionately called her 'person,' sadly. She could blame it on the time difference, but that was a pathetic excuse and it wasn't true. They had texted the generic "Hi. How are you?" back and forth each responding in varying degrees of "ok" such as "fine" and "good."

The real reason she didn't talk to her, she assumed in her drunken stupor, was probably because it would hurt too much. She would unenviably be reminded of the fact that she wasn't there anymore every time they exchanged a word with one another. And it wouldn't fade over time, she would never be used to it or simply accept it as one might think. No, this pain would last forever, never fading in the slightest.

She may be overreacting about the whole situation, her most of her closest friends and colleague's thought so. They explained to her multiple times that it wasn't like she died or you'd never see her again and etcetera. Like that was supposed to help.

They didn't understand that this just wasn't a best friend. It was way more complicated than that. This was the person she bared her soul too, poured her heart out and suffered more disasters in seven years that most people go through in a lifetime. This was her best friend, her twisted sister, her 'person, the love of her life, her soul mate. Relationships like that come around only once in your life, and that's if you're lucky.

She explained this time and time again to people, hoping they would understand. They didn't get it. They told her to suck it up, ignore the pain and to move on. What the hell does 'move on' even mean? Does it mean to accept the facts and get back to the real world? Or does it mean to erase what's been lost, as if it never happened at all? Whichever definition the person meant, she wanted to tell him or her to go to hell. Because neither was going to happen, whether she wanted them too or not.

She glanced down at her phone absentmindedly and found she had six missed calls. Her heart raced excitedly and uncontrollably as she hurriedly swiped her salt covered and greasy hands across the screen. However, she found herself to be extremely disappointed to find that the calls were not from the one person she was so desperate and anxious to hear from.

It was unlikely that she would call all of the sudden, she knew that. She mentally kicked herself in the gut for getting her hopes up for absolutely no reason.

Meredith Grey sighed as she left a fifty on the counter and slipped her long thin arms into one of Cristina's favorite leather jackets that she had left behind accidentally, she presumed. Meredith had taken to wearing the jacket everywhere. It mad her feel close to Cristina. She hadn't even told her best friend that she had it in fear of the last piece of Cristina being sent away.

She had never really believed Anna Martinez, the head cheerleader at Meredith's high school who always wore her boyfriends' sweaters and clothes and claimed it 'smelled like him.' Now, she understood perfectly. The coat smelled like Cristina's favorite fruity cereal and the dark black coffee that she religiously carried with her whenever she worked. The coat also had a hint of the sterile smell of an operating room. It smelled like home, maybe that's why she never noticed it before. After all, you never realize what you have until its gone.

As Meredith stuffed her phone into the right coat pocket, she felt a folded up piece of paper. She pulled it out to investigate and found nothing special. It was just a folded up and crumpled piece of paper, it looked like the grocery list she lost two weeks ago.

"Thanks John," she said tiredly, not even sure if that was anything remotley close to the bartenders actual name as she tossed the grocery list with the money. He would throw it away as soon as he realized there was nothing valuable in it anyway

As she was about to open the door to the exit from the bar, she took one last look around. It was almost unbelievable that this was the same place that so many memories were shared and created here. Meredith even caught herself grinning a little as she strode up the hypothetical steps towards tomorrow.

**Sorry I know the first chapter had nothing to do with the story but I promise it will come back later so you might want to read it. Anyways, I was really proud of this ****chapter. I know it was short and the next one will be too but after that they will get longer, I promise. Please review follow and or favorite and do the same to my other fanfic Ignorance is Bliss! Thanks!**


	2. Say Something

**So, to the very few people reading this, you might notice that I deleted the first chapter. I ****don't know if that was a turnoff or what but I will bring that back again later. Second I am really disappointed that I've only got one review. I really do work hard on this so please review to keep me motivated and to share your opinions whether they are good or bad because I am interested. Also check out my other fanfic 'Ignorance is Bliss' and leave a review on there too. Thanks!**

"One smile can start a friendship. One word can end a fight. One look can save a relationship. One person can change your life," the curly haired surgeon read off silently as she studied the photos on her desk. When she first heard that saying, she snickered and rolled her eyes at the cheesiness. After all, she never believed in 'happily ever after's." Reality was so much more interesting. Then again, that was many years ago. And a lot of things have changed since then.

She ruffled her hair and sighed to herself as she picked up one particular photo from two years ago, or something like that. It was a blurry so called 'selfie' of the two twisted sisters at the party they decided to spontaneously (and stupidly, she might add) throw a large party celebrating their victory of completing their surgical residencies. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the next day they regretted it. In fact, she probably regretted every decision she ever made during those long and cold three days where she and five others were trapped in the woods somewhere in Idaho. Death does that to you.

She found herself regretting everything once again as she stared at that stupid blurry picture. How can something so small and insignificant make you feel so many ways? She had been studying medicine for almost twenty years, yet she was no closer to understanding now than when she was in college.

People always claim that they love someone from 'the bottom of my heart.' Those people would probably find it interesting that when someone has a heart transplant, they completely loses ones own heart to be replaced with someone else's, yet that person still has the same feelings for the person he or she loves most. This proves that love works in the minds of people and not in their hearts. Bottom-line is, love is a state of mind. Then again, no one is going to say 'I love you from the bottom of my mind." It just doesn't have that ring to it. So why not let the stupid people be stupid?

There was only one person the brilliant cardiothoracic surgeon loved from 'the bottom of her heart.' And that was her twisted sister, her person.

The two hadn't talked much since she had left for Zurich. She wasn't exactly sure why, especially considering that she had left her favorite jacket with her and the most cheesy thing ever along with it. She wondered if it got lost somehow…

She wondered and feared that her best friend moved on, after all, it wouldn't be that hard. She had people in Seattle she had known almost as long as her. But then again, she didn't seem like the type of person to just walk away without one tear in her eye. At least, that's what she desperately hoped for, anyways.

Doctor Cristina Yang twirled her chair around so now she was facing the life she was living now, and not the one that now only lived in her memory. She had everything she always wanted. She had a big office that demanded authority… She was the director of her own hospital or 'chocolate factory'… She was a world-renowned surgeon on top of that. The old her would have slapped herself and told her to stop complaining because she was living the dream. The dream she had worked so hard to achieve throughout her life. She wasn't the old her, however. That person was long. And she didn't exactly miss her.

Like she said earlier, she had everything she always wanted. _Almost_. She knew right now if she could have anything or anyone with her right now, she would reply immediately without any hesitation that she would want Meredith Grey by her side.

Maybe that was selfish of her to want. Meredith did after all have a husband and two kids she had to think about. She wasn't alone like Cristina was. The things you want most are always the things you cant have. Why did the world have to be so cruel?

Cristina impulsively decided to break the silence between the two of them. The anxiety was killing her slowly from the inside and she couldn't take it anymore and was on the verge of snapping. She hurriedly typed a simple and quick 'I miss you' and hit send. She could've sent something long and heartfelt, but there was no point. She could go on and on explaining why she missed her 'person' and saying every little thing she missed about her but why over complicate things, she figured.

Only a few short moments later did she hear her phone vibrate indicating that she had a new message. She choked a little as she read Meredith's even simpler response of 'Me too.' Somehow those two little words in the form of a text message were all she needed.


End file.
